Her story: My husband is an amazing man and so patient with me. But he does not like me touching his things or even talking to him when he is in the washroom. What is wrong with that? I always thought husband and wife have no discretion. Earlier he thought I was suspecting him of cheating on me and honestly it never even crossed my mind. This is how I have seen my parents too and I don’t see anything wrong with it. In fact, I find his parents distant and don’t want our marriage to be like that. Guide me please.
Expert advice by Vishal Bhardwaj, Founder and Relationship Coach at Predictions For Success:
The ideal relationship is a relationship where you are not forced to lose your individuality, nor asked to construct your personality in such a way that would be easy-going for the other one. Under a single roof, you have to respect each other for your own good and prosper together to make your bond stronger.
For him
Nobody wants their personal space to be disturbed. However, you are in a relationship right now. Your wife is not just a part of your life, she is your lifestyle. Her presence is inevitable, that is what marriage signifies in Indian society. However, if your personal space is invaded and you do not appreciate it at all, it’s time to confront this thing with your wife. Make her understand that every individual is brought up with certain values and constructs. So any kind of breach of privacy is quite uncomforting. Yes, she is your wife, she has the right to be there. But not by making you uncomfortable. We hope she understands this simple thing, without concocting it with extra spice.
For her
Your relationship is unique and that is the true beauty of it. You cannot expect it to be identical to your parents’. Your husband seems like a more private person. If he does not like his personal space to be bothered, you should be careful about it. Some people are quite frank about their personal space, some are quite reserved. Since your husband falls in the second category, you have to understand his concern. Yes, you are his wife, and part of life forever. But that does not mean his personal space will be sacrificed at the cost of marriage. As a grown-up individual, you have to be more meticulous on this matter.
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