His story/Her story: “My wife’s mother wants to move in with us”

His story: My wife and I shifted into our own home and we have been living in our own space for the past 7 years now. We had both our kids in this home and all four of us have our own routines here. Now, my wife’s mother wants to shift in with us after we lost my father-in-law last year to COVID. I agree it would be a welcome change for her, my wife, and the kids too but only for a few days. She wants to shift in for good and this is freaking me out. My wife too is but she is not showing it in a very obvious fashion since it is her mother. My mom-in-law is nice upto a point but she starts nagging and is nosy too. Should I address this with my wife? I don’t know how to. The elephant in the room is slowly becoming dark and we both know it. I don’t want to fight with my wife but discuss this. Please help

Her story: My husband and I always wanted our own apartment because both our parents can get onto our nerves after a while. We have our own lives now with our two kids and no longer know how to live with our parents and adjust. My mom has dropped a ticking grenade on us that she wants to shift in with us forever and frankly, I am freaking out. I try not to show it to my husband who is not saying anything about this and I have a feeling this is the silence before the storm. I feel my mom will get offended if I tell her and ever since dad died she is too lonely. But we have our own lives now… I don’t know what to do. It will become a major problem when my husband breaks his silence – he keeps quiet until pushed to the very end and my mother is very talented that way. I fear the coming days and I am stressed. Should I ask him for a solution? Will he understand? I don’t know what to do.

Expert advice by Vishal Bhardwaj, Founder and Relationship Coach at Predictions For Success:

If there is a problem, there is a solution too! The moment you stop vocalizing your problems, you give birth to a storm that would shatter your happiness only. Especially with your partner, you need to be more transparent with your feelings. The more you hide, the more you suffer!

For Him

There are currently two problems hounding you the most. Let’s deal with them one by one! Your wife is not a mentalist, who can read minds. You need to address the issue in front of her as you stay together in a house. Since your sanity and well-being are at stake, you can not wait for a miracle to happen to make your wife understand it. Please, go and tell her that this is what bothers me now, let’s sort it out.

Now coming to the issue of your mother-in-law shifting forever to your house, here are a few things you need to comprehend. Your wife is a daughter. So as a daughter, she has responsibilities toward her mother. It is rational, practical, and at the same time ethical as well. Yes, she(mother-in-law) has her drawbacks, no denying that. But, with what she is going through in recent years, we have to be sympathetic toward that. We are sure you would not have any problem if it was your mother with similar traits. The thing is it is all about adjusting a bit. That’s all. Nevertheless, if things go beyond your tolerance, you can speak your mind and there is nothing wrong with that.

For Her

Nobody wants their marital bliss to be disturbed by anything unpleasant. You know your mother the best. You know your husband as well. So you must maintain that balance in the house. We know it is not going to be a cakewalk but you have to! Even though your mother is recuperating from your Father’s loss, you need to talk to her about it. As a mother, she is concerned about you, nothing wrong with that. However, she needs to understand that you are having a family now. It includes other individuals with different ideologies. Her monopoly can not be entertained here. If she is here to spend the rest of her life, she has to conduct herself in a way that won’t be bothersome to others around her.

But before anything, you need to talk to your husband. Talk to him and assure him that you will be there for him before anything. That’s the trust you need to build with him.

Read also: Being Single: “Society sees me as a single man but I am dating a boy”

Read also: These zodiac signs don’t like losing