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DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend is such a sexy, good-looking woman, but when it comes to the bedroom it’s an absolute disaster.
I’m of average size down there but whenever we get to the point of intercourse I find it impossible.
It’s like she is too small for me.
We’ve tried several times and although I don’t want her to know, I’ve got to admit I am starting to find it very frustrating.
She is getting really upset and says she’s worrying she will lose me.
We spend a long time on foreplay, but it’s not working.
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How can I get her to relax more in the bedroom sense?
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like your girlfriend may be suffering from a condition called vaginismus, which is where the vaginal muscles tighten up when penetration is attempted.
Unfortunately for your girlfriend she cannot control this but there is treatment which centres around looking at her feelings around penetration and also exercises to help her relax her muscles.
It would be worth having a look at the NHS website.
You can find out more by visiting nhs.uk/conditions/vaginismus.
I think your girlfriend would also benefit from seeing a sex therapist, who would help her navigate these feelings and learn to have a fulfilling sexual relationship.
